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listen so they decided to make a remake to one of the scariest movies ever made by paying almost half a billion dollars to get the rights but you just knew it was never going to hit the moment that they planned for it to come out on Friday the 13th but moved it because of a concert film like how am I supposed to be spooked on your demon when y’all scared of some swifties obviously you can’t compare it to the original but it feels more like a high production fan film that wants to be the newest real sequel ignoring all the other ones and that’s kind of become the blumhouse staple to go and buy the rights to some classic horror film film so you can add another killer to that intro logo but does it always have to be the same dude directing like I didn’t even hate the new Halloween trilogy but this man’s been hitting the same beats like they give him the power up of being able to get the original actresses to come back and even with all that help they still don’t hit honestly the scariest part is that they’re looking to make this into a

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Trilogy now I watch to many movies to call this one the worst of the year but it’s easily one of the biggest disappointments for me cuz even the studio who named it believer seemed to not believe in it without fast they flipping it to streaming so while the next one is supposed to be called deceiver just know they kind of already did that with this one let me explain God BL that trick on you so the movie begins with a man named Victor and his wife vacationing overseas where they just so happen to be pregnant and the wife decides to give her fetus a souvenir by getting a random baby blessing at the market and then an earthquake happens because his wife decided to stay back to rest while he was out Victor’s now rushing over to the hotel where the buildings collapse on his wife and he’s left with having to make a decis ision on whether he wants to save his baby or her cuz the procedure’s going to be too

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risky what comes next is a 13-year time Jump where they show you Victor and his daughter Angela and Georgia giving each other better jump scares than what they end up giving you in this movie what does the spirit say to you sadly they all end up being that goofy ever since the accident he’s been feeling helpless and so he stored away all of his wife’s belongings meaning that the daughter also never really got to grieve so one day she snatches one of her mom’s scarves because she plans on doing some heej call outs to reach her that’s when we get what feels like different scripts meshing together because the trailer will show you shots of them going to church together and being friends and all that’s really in the movie in the final cut their families don’t really even know each other like that but Angela wants Catherine to help her call out to her mom since her family’s a lot more religious than her dad is and so they run away to do this ritual in the woods and then go miss him Angela can you tell your dad how long you were gone few hours baby you’ve been gone 3 days they end up finding them in a farm 30 m away where it turns out they

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walk too Barefoot and they start examining them in the hospital flipping the horror of how they examined Reagan in the’ 70s that leads to a moment where they start lashing out if anyone tries to pray over them which causes Angela to smash the door window and it’s actually her neighbor who was already complaining to them about their trash cans who’s the nurse watching over her so now imagine her seeing this missing team destroy her workplace and the devil never gives up both girls end up going home but keep acting creepy not even letting their parents expression in peace and after a couple of subliminal jump scares and wet beds Victor decides to institutionalize his daughter when he finds her more carved up than a Thanksgiving turkey meanwhile Katherine is acting even worse they took this girl to Sunday service after having one of the roughest Saturday nights and this girl decides to crash mass by drenching herself in wine looking like she just finished a bar crawl and was ending with the blood of Christ after making Services fun the parents start contemplating if the girls went to hell when they were missing for those 3 days because

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Katherine’s Mom feels guilty that had postponed her baptism just so the grandma could be there and is worried that she may not be saved the body and the blood the body and the blood C before the dad can blame it on hormones their voices start changing as Victor sends his daughter to the mental hospital then later she’s no longer at the mental hospital but that’s when the nurse Neighbor comes in to confess how she believes that the daughter is possessed after she broke down her entire backstory after watching over her turns out this nurse was almost going to be a nun but then got pregnant which disqualifies her and then afterward she had an abortion which Super disqualifies her and Demon Angela knew all of this plus her Nunn name that she never told anyone so now the neighbors vowed to help this family and Universal by getting Chris the mom from the original back for the sequel there’s something I saw in your book that made me come here today wait but like in the first didn’t they do a whole scene about keeping that from Chris so she didn’t know I don’t want Chris to see this but what’s wrong what is it anyway Victor tracks her

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down by watching a couple of DH YouTube videos of her promoting the book that she wrote about the exorcism that she wanted to completely forget but then they write this line for her where she calls out the two men who died saving her little girl by bashing them in the name of the patriarchy like ma’am they rescued you in the name of the father son and their holy water not to mention she also toured her book at the Vatican so it’s not really a perspective that this character would have especially since writing that book is what ruined her relationship with Reagan who hasn’t talked to her since I wake up every morning wondering where my daughter is praying that I’ll see her sweet face again one of these days after a couple of drinks she says yes and goes to visit the girls and for whatever reason when she visits Catherine they let her go upstairs into her room by herself like they’re not even in the hallway outside they’re downstairs in the den having a breather while this elderly lady’s having a one-on-one with a demon don’t be scared we’ve met before I guess she didn’t read the Press nodes cuz they claim it’s a different demon or maybe the movie just kept forgetting that the movie then flips the infamous scene of it stabbing her whispering eye to actually

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poking out Chris’s eyes and now she’s out for the rest of the movie but at least now she doesn’t have to watch the rest of the movie I think they will get their money’s worth with this one they also have what felt like an after credit but I’m just going to mention it here cuz they deliver it like an afterthought and that’s having Linda Blair appear at the end of the movie just to give her mama a hug which was just shot horribly like it’s the most important scene and you’re just going to have the slots logo appear over them the neighbor then breaks down the purpose of the church pretty much saying that there’s a lot in common with a lot of religions so they’re just going to like connect them and tie them all in and like look I’m not even Catholic and I’m not saying that a movie should shove religion down your throat but the original is specifically a Catholic movie about faith like it’s a specific demon with specific priests you know just like you can watch Harry Potter without having to be a witch you can understand what the rules are when it comes to The Exorcist the idea that you’re going to blend all religions to check off boxes is like the laziest point of view cuz most of these Rel kind of like cancel each other out eventually victor goes to visit a witch doctor who his neighbor had

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recommended by pulling a b& in his house but you know it’s kind to the point where he’s super desperate and when it comes to these Customs I’ve heard some people say that they liked how they were showcased but I’ve seen a lot of other people complain and I’m kind of on that side cuz they did make him look pretty goofy like even in the beginning right they’re saying that that’s what caused this blessing of protection that should have kind of like watched over her for the entire movie but I don’t see where the protection is or the blessing in losing your mama and an earthquake getting possessed 13 years later and then having your classmate die so that you can live with survival’s guilt I like I don’t know but this lady did have solid advice when she said you have to give something after you take something and I guess that’s why this movie bombed following that multiple characters just end up telling you the purpose of the movie which is the complete opposite of what the original does cuz even in the OG they cut out a scene between the priests because it overe explained everything that was happening that was the first scene that I cut out of the movie on my own originally because I felt that that statement of what it’s all about was inherent in the

 

whole film Bill always felt that it needed to be stated and I said bill I can’t include it because the whole movie is saying that soon enough they try to draft a father who ends up getting denied by corporate because they say that it’s going to be religious interference so now they have to go into this exorcism without a quarterback like this man didn’t even say four words before he jet fasts than Aaron Rogers so that’s when the nurse decides that she’s going to take over and starts remembering all the stuff she learned at the nunnery and now she’s leading the Witch Doctor the tongue speaking neighbor the pastor and WB is like yeah it’s diverse enough so it gets the okay personally I just wish they didn’t make the scene so boring like you have Katherine’s dad who’s always distraught to the point he may be doing too much like he looked like he was possessed but him compared to Leslie was so drastic cuz his daughter would be spazzing out and this man’s staring at her like he’s trying to remember if he left the oven on that’s when the demon Angela brings up how Victor chose the mom over his own kid which I’m sure was a great discussion for couples after the movie but now he’s hit with another choice because the Demon’s telling them that they have to pick which girl is going to live and this time Leslie’s willing to wait for it cuz he knows that no matter what they’ll never be satisfied now I have heard critics get triggered about this movie moment because they think that it’s making a stance but like it doesn’t take that hard to realize that Danny McBride wrote this and that man has a whole HBO show

 

bashing religion so I just think they’re trolling in the most boring way possible Victor legit takes a break and goes outside to tell the preacher man who’s just chilling in his car to meet him inside and eventually he does walk into the room where it’s happening only to get his head twisted before he can even say amen and what’s hilarious is they don’t even call the amance till like 25 minutes later honestly it’s one of many moments where they’re just doing it for the callbacks you know they have a character who says to go forward you have to go back bet all the Easter eggs are goofy like don’t mimic shots on the framing from the original but they don’t really have a purpose you they show you that Victor’s a photographer but then I guess they deleted all of his scenes because they were more interested in showing him boxing since you know that’s what they do in the First the movie opens with bargain dogs because that’s what they do in the first in church they had Catherine’s hands lower than where they’re supposed to be cuz I guess it’s an homage to that Infamous one from the original how they even thought the cheap Cameo of Reagan would trickle down to the box office like no wonder Billy left when this trailer dropped eventually demon Angela starts talking

smack to her father as she headbutts him across the set and then she starts levitating since they unbuckled her for the effect their pulses then fade as mine did too by this point as the demons demand for them to pick which one of the daughters is going to survive and because Katherine’s dad shouts out her name the demon calls an off sides and the penalty is that Katherine has to die so like you have the first one where it’s about regaining your faith by committing to decisions this is a movie about choosing by not choosing I don’t want to go to hell well now I don’t know how they’re going to explain this to the cops when they come pick up the bodies cuz they already didn’t believe them when they went out looking for help and I don’t think a crucifix and some holy water is going to do it either way in the end nobody really gets in trouble Katherine’s parents just end up being completely alone Victor’s Victorious as his daughter survives and the neighbor nurse literally gives us an ending explain about the themes of the movie being all about Hope and while I hope they don’t make more they probably will if the power of cash compels them

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